The First Date Fight

Jess: Wes and I really like to "fight." Bickering and joking around are just part of who we are as a couple. It's a fun way to mess around with each other and laugh together. One of these fights in particular has been going on almost as long as Wes and I have been together. Last weekend, we decided that it was time to ask a question of our blog audience: Who is right? We need to know once and for all, so everyone should vote and tell Wes that I'm right--I mean share your opinion.

Now the question is what our first date was. The difference is a matter of two days, but this is of grave importance to Wes and me. Let me set the stage and help you understand:

It's November 2007. Wes and I have known each other since the tail end of August, when we met through Campus Ministry. We have some mutual friends, spend time together at worship services and campus ministry events, and I am Wes' Greek tutor. Several times over the last few weeks, we have spent time together watching movies and TV, but always with at least a few friends around. We both like each other, but neither of us has any idea how the other person is felling.

Finally, I decide that I have enough. I've never been good at asking guys out, so my wonderful friends Christi and Daniel devise a plan to help me out. They decide that we will go see Happy Feet on Friday afternoon. I can invite Wes, and we can hang out in a low-key atmosphere while not being surrounded by hundreds of friends. The situation seems perfect. If I'm not mistaken, I asked Wes over Facebook or AIM (yes, this was back in the dark ages when people still used AIM) because I was too shy to ask him in person. He agreed, but said he would have to leave for a ministry retreat immediately after the movie.

So Wes drove me to the movie and Christi and Daniel drove separately, with the idea being that Wes would leave and I would head back with them. Wes bought my ticket, but let everyone remember that I asked him to the movie, so this was just out of the kindness of his heart. I think it is also absolutely imperative that you know that Christi and Daniel were just friends, so this wasn't a double date or anything. It was just four friends going to see a movie together.

During the movie, Wes and I flirted and joked with each other just like we had been doing for weeks. We ended up holding hands (swoon) and Wes decided he could be a little late for his retreat, so he drove me back to school. End part 1.

That doesn't sound like much of a date to me, but you can be the judge. My reasons are manifold, but I'll list a few: 1) There were other people there who were not dating nor on a date. 2) We would have all ridden together had it not been for Wes' retreat. 3) Although we held hands, that could have just as easily happened during one of the many movies we watched in Wes' dorms with a bunch of our friends. 4) I find this to be the most important: when we counted our "dating anniversary," we always counted from what I consider our first date.

Part 2: Wes returns from his retreat on Sunday and asks me if I would like to go to see a movie with him that night after chapel. Although I had been up since 6 a.m., I just couldn't pass up the opportunity to go on what could be our first date. After chapel, we drove to the theatre, where Wes bought my ticket and snacks, and headed in to see Borat.

Side note: Borat is a terrible movie. Don't ever waste your time on it. Even though it was our first date, I refuse to watch it again even for sentimental reasons.

During the course of the movie, we hold hands, which we're pros at by now. Finally, we kiss (double swoon!). Wes drives me home, walks me to my room, and asks if he can change his Facebook status to "in a relationship." I agree and a lifetime of bliss begins--starting on the night of our very first date.

I don't think it's necessary, but I'll let Wes argue his side of the story now.

Wes: Well, Jess got the majority of the facts correct, but she is quite mistaken when it comes to her conclusions. (Also, I had to go through and correct like six grammatical mistakes from her part of the post, which obviously means that you should take my side much more seriously since I am better equipped to use the English language). So here we go.

It is November 2007. I am about to leave for the weekend to go to my favorite ministry retreat of the year--Dive in Deeper. It is an amazing time of reflection, relaxation, and growth, and I got to spend that time with some of my favorite people. As I am finishing packing up (because let's face it, I waited until the last minute to start packing), I receive an IM from Jess, asking if I wanted to go see a movie with her and a couple friends. Now, this sounds to me from the get-go like a date. I change my plans at the last minute and get ready to go see Happy Feet, a movie I knew nothing about but was prepared to sit through if it meant spending a little bit of time with Jessica.

I drove her there and her two friends followed us in one of their vehicles. The whole way, we listen to music together and sing along to every song that comes on my ipod. I try to tickle her a couple times while we drive over there and she shyly smiles at me and tickles back. When we get to the movie theatre, I, being the gallant gentleman, by my date her ticket, hold the door to the theatre open for her, and then by her some popcorn. During the movie, we spend more time tickling each other than we do watching the film and when the moment seemed right... BAM! I went for it. She went to tickle me and I grabbed her hand. And then didn't let go. Also, neither did she. Game. Set. Match. Holding hands.

When the movie was over, I asked if I could drive her back to TLU, and we held hands the rest of the time we were together in the truck as well. Then, after I dropped her off, I spent the next three hours texting her as I drove to the retreat, only stopping when my phone lost service. And yes, I know it was dangerous, but I was in love. So there.

When I got back to TLU on Sunday afternoon, I called her to ask if she wanted to go on another date to see another movie. Now, there wasn't much showing, so we ended up going to see Borat (a couple of my friends told me it was good). The movie was awful. Absolutely awful. But the upside is that instead of watching the movie, Jess and I had our first kiss (and the subsequent ones after it as well). When the lights came on in the theatre, we went back to TLU and I walked her up to her door. I then asked her to be my girlfriend in the cutest way I could think to do so: I asked if I was allowed to change my facebook status to "in a relationship." She said yes. :-)

Now. We are both in absolute agreement that this second outing, when we went to see Borat, was in fact a date. No arguments from me about that. But I firmly hold to the truth that our first date was in fact Happy Feet, and I hold to this for a number of reasons:

1. She asked me to go the movie with her. I had to change my plans to do so, but I did, because I wanted to go on a date with her.

2. I did not know anything about this movie and therefore did not want to see it. The only reason that I went to the movie was to be with her.

3. I drove her to the theatre and paid for her ticket and popcorn. If it had not been a date, I would not have done this because it would have just been a few friends going to the movie.

4. We engaged in romantic discourse. We flirted like crazy. We held hands for the first time. We then initiated a texting conversation of so epic proportions that both of us went over our plans and owed our parents money.

5. There is a difference between dating and being in a committed relationship. We counted our "dating anniversary" from the night of our second date because that was when I asked her to be my girlfriend. It was not the date itself that led to that being our anniversary, but the committal on both of our parts to enter into a romantic relationship together. Therefore, before we were boyfriend and girlfriend, we went on two dates--the first to see Happy Feet and the second to see Borat.

Friends, Romans, Countrymen (and countrywomen): Lend me your ears. I need your help in convincing Jess that I am right. We all know it is true, but her constant need to be right and to win everything is clouding her judgment. Help me rectify this situation. Help me open her eyes. Help me show her that our first date truly was Happy Feet, the horribly cute movie about a dancing penguin.

Only you can help her see the truth. I leave it in your capable hands.

You stay classy, World Wide Web.

-wes (the right one) and jess (the mistaken one)