on being preggo

Jess: For those of you who are freaked out by change, I want to assure you that we'll be going back to normal with me starting the blogs and leaving little scraps of fun stuff for Wes to write about.

Well, I hope by now that most of you have read/heard/found out in one way or another that Wes and I are expecting a baby in early December. This has brought on quite a few questions, and a lot of excitement among our friends and family.

One of the first questions was "whatever happened to adopting?" Well, Wes and I definitely still want to adopt. It's something that's very important to both of us. But as we researched adopting an infant, we started to realize that we just weren't ready for that kind of process. There's a lot of waiting and wondering and nervousness. Also, we are too young to adopt through a lot of places and we didn't want to limit our options. Although we loved Angel Adoption, we then had to take a serious look at the cost. Now, we're well aware that having kids isn't cheap. The problem was that we just weren't ready or able to put forward upwards of $20,000 before even knowing if we would have interested birth parents. That seemed really terrifying for our first kid--especially considering how young we are.

Finally, we talked about adopting infants in general. As many of you may know, adopting an infant is hard. There are a lot of people who have fertility problems, are older, gay couples, etc. who have only a few options for having an infant at all. This isn't a problem for Wes and I, and we didn't want to be "competing" with people like this to have a baby. I for one am leaning more toward having a child or two of our own and then fostering/adopting older children or sibling groups as our children get older. We'll see, but adoption definitely isn't off the table--it's something for a different time/place in our lives.

Another big question is how we're going to manage school and a kid. Why did we choose now? As Wes and I sat down and talked about our options, we realized that waiting till a "good time" would most likely mean waiting for quite some time. If we waited until we were both done with school, that would necessarily mean waiting until I was at least a year or so into my first call, since I wouldn't be comfortable with going on maternity leave any earlier than that. We just didn't see a "good time" opening up for a long time, and we've been talking about kids for awhile. So here we are. Wes will be finishing school for good (at least until he decides to get a doctorate) at about the same time the baby comes. I'll be taking some time off at the end of the semester, and then not taking a J-term class this year, which means I'll have about 2 months off with the baby before going back to school. Then we're just going to figure out what works for our family in terms of class and work and everything else.

Finally, the most important question: are you going to find out if it's a boy or a girl? Yes! But don't ask us about names, because those are going to be a secret until little Wessica/Wessico's birthday. :)

Wes: YAY! We're having a baby! Woo Hoo! It's a boy, by the way. Jessica won't admit it, but it's true. I just have a feeling. And everyone knows that the father's gut instinct is always right when it comes to the gender of the unborn baby.

That was sarcasm. Jesus invented it.

We really don't have any other news to share, and our lives are now completely engulfed in baby mania, so I don't even have any pressing issue to talk about. Really, it's just the baby. So, since Jess didn't leave me anything specific to talk about, I'll tell you about some of my favorite responses we've received so far once we've told people that we were pregnant. And, just to make it entertaining, I will share them in the form of awards.

The award for Most Excited Response goes to my Papa and Mamaw (Mom's parents). Even after the blatant, "We've got great news, so we need you both on the phone" line I fed them, they still acted as if they had no idea what was going on. Then, when we told them, they yipped and hollered and celebrated with us in the most awesome and glorious way.

The award for Most Awkward Response that was Filled with the Most Amount of Sexual Innuendo goes to my Grandpa (Dad's dad). His initial response was something along the lines of "You finally figured it out!", and they just got... worse... from there. Definitely made Jess and I laugh, and reminded me just why I love my family in all of it's great glory.

The award for Cutest Response goes to Mallory Grau, a friend of ours from TLU. On Jess' Facebook post where we announced to the interweb our wonderful news, she responded with the phrase, "you did it!" We laughed at this for quite a while.

The award for Best Dumbfounded Look goes to my little sister, Katherine. We face-timed with my family to tell them the news, and Katherine's reaction was priceless. Her eyes got real big, and her mouth hung open for a good minute before she realized that she hadn't actually said anything yet. Then she smiled big and said, "YAAAAAAYYY!" It was great.

Well, those are the awards for now. Maybe if I think of any more awesome responses, I'll share those a little later.

By the way, shameless plug, we have our registries (I know, already!) at Target and BabiesRUS.

That's all for now! You stay classy, World Wide Web!

-wes and jess

Extension Ministries

Wes: WHAT? Wes goes first?! Has hell frozen over??? Well, no, but for the first time in our blog's history, I'm taking the initiative to start the blog. Why, you may ask? Is something wrong with Jess? Has some life-changing, momentous occasion happened and only Wes can accurately capture it in his wondrous webs of words?

Well, no. I just actually had something that I thought would be cool about, and I had a free few minutes to write it. Stop reading into this. It's nothing special. 

Gosh. 

Anyways, back to the topic at hand. I wanted to share with y'all the experience that I just had while on a class field trip. That's right. Princeton has field trips. Be jealous. I am in a May term class right now. For those of you who do not know what I'm talking about, this is a three-week intensive class, usually pass/fail. The class is on Campus Ministry and Other Young Adult Ministry Models. It's amazing. I've absolutely loved it and I've learned a lot about myself and my vocational call from this class. We have spoken with church pastors who specialize their ministries to attract young adults, campus ministers who work specifically with college-aged young adults, and military chaplains working with our military (which, you might know, is comprised primarily of young adults). It's been wonderful. 

Our field trip was a two-day excursion to Washington DC, where we focused our time on military chaplaincy. We met probably 20 different military chaplains on our two-day trip, all of them ranging in denomination and military branch. Now, for those of you who may not already know, I have a deep respect for those who serve in our armed forces. They are doing a job many do not want and they are serving a country full of many who do not respect or appreciate their work and sacrifice. As someone who grew up in a military family, I saw just what duty requires of enlisted soldiers, and I will always hold the highest respect for those willing to engage in this work. I have also always been interested in military chaplaincy. I'd have to lose quite a few pounds to be able to enter into it, and it doesn't really fit with Jess' and my calls in life, so I have always been of the mind that it would always be a ministry avenue I would respect but never engage. 

Then, during this trip, I had the blessing of speaking to an Air Force Reserve chaplain. He is an ordained elder in the United Methodist Church, and his wife is also an ordained elder. And he made it all work by working in the Reserves. This opened up a whole new avenue of ministry for me that I had not even known about. If I were to pursue this, I could easily serve in a local church or campus ministry appointment as well as serve in the Reserves. It would mean that one week a month I work quite a bit more than the other weeks, and it would mean that I have to work hard to get in shape physically, but both of those things are doable! (Even if the getting in shape might kill me). So, now that I am home and am back in the real world, I have been thinking a lot about this and praying about it, and everything that I am feeling about it says that it's a worthy pursuit and it would lead to worthwhile ministry. I know that I want to be in the local church for a while first so that I can gain the experience needed to be able to best minister to all, but I am also going to start gearing up for this, finding out who I need to talk to so that I can get the ball rolling on this, working on building relationships within the church that could help me with this endeavor, and working to get in shape. 

Please be praying for me as I work toward this, and pray that--whether this is something that happens a few years down the road or right when I get out of seminary--God will use me to bless those serving in the military so that they too might come to know the love that their Lord has for them

Jess: Wes didn't even bother to consult me on this, and I feel like he has everything we need to say already, so...I'll write about this summer.

Those of you who talk with us regularly already know that I'll be doing CPE this summer. CPE stands for Clinical Pastoral Education. For me, that means I'll be working as a chaplain in our local hospital, Robert Wood Johnson, all summer long. It's a requirement of the ELCA's candidacy process, so I can't get ordained or even do my internship without first serving in this capacity. It's basically an unpaid internship as a chaplain. I believe that there are opportunities to do a CPE in a prison setting, but I don't think I'm ready for that.

Honestly, I'm not sure if I'm ready to work in a hospital, either. I spent quite a bit of time in the hospital as a kid. I went with Dad quite regularly to visit parishoners who were hospitalized for one reason or another. Sometimes I got to see new babies. Sometimes we were just there as support for a family during surgery. Once, a day a remember vividly, we went to visit a congregation member who had suffered a brain injury which took years for her to recover from. So the hospital isn't a great place for me. I've seen a lot of sick people and I guess I just have a fear of what might happen there. I tend to forget all of the healing that takes place. I forget that some people go to the hospital to have life-saving surgery, to have broken bones healed, or to have babies. I focus on the negative a lot.

Even more terrifying for me, however, is my tendency to empathy. When other people are in pain--be it emotional, physical, or spiritual--I feel that pain, too. And I always want to fix it. I'm going to be in a lot of situations this summer where I simply can't fix what's wrong. I'm not sure how I'm going to handle that. It will be an interesting experiment in how much someone can learn in one summer.

As I was discussing (whining about) CPE with Linda awhile ago, she pointed out a few things that really have helped me get a grip on this and start to look forward to the summer. First off, I'm not in a trauma center, I'm not in a cancer hospital, etc. Although I will have to deal with death and severe illness, I won't be with the worst of the worst. What helped more, though, was Linda pointing out that I obviously don't want to be a hospital chaplain in the future. That's not part of my call to ministry. So she told me to make a goal for the summer--something that I want to achieve by putting myself in this sometimes terrifying situation.

Always the overachiever, I chose two: first, to get to a point where I can be in the same room as someone who is in pain and not be crying. I want to be able to help them in whatever way I can, whether prayer, time to talk, or just silent presence. That's going to be difficult if I'm bawling my eyes out. Second, I want to be in a place where I can go to the hospital and not tense up. I want to feel more comfortable wandering the halls, so that when I go to visit sick parishoners, I'm not making a bad situation worse with my own inability to deal with it.

Well, there you go...two discussions of extension ministries. Our journey just gets more exciting with every step!

You stay classy, World Wide Web.

Wes and Jess

Does Seminary Matter?

Jess: Our wonderful friend Allison sent us a huge list of potential blog topics over a month ago, and then we kind of forgot to write blogs forever. One of her questions-- which is pretty relevant now, as I complete my first year of seminary, and Wes is almost done-- was "why is seminary important?" So, here it is:

When I first felt the call to ministry in high school, I knew what the educational component entailed. Since my dad is a pastor, I already knew what he had been through, and I knew the general structure of college and seminary. I really didn't understand the point, however. Why should I go through all of that training when I felt called to be a pastor? Hadn't God already given me the gifts I needed to be a good pastor? Is a master's degree really necessary?

Even now, I definitely have some questions about seminary. I do however, recognize the value and importance of seminary education. Giftedness is definitely a big component of this job. Seminaries and candidacy committees are trained to recognize this. Those who feel the call should be able to recognize their own gifts, as well as their areas for improvement. Yet, like with many vocations, having the gifts does not mean one is actually prepared to do the job. Having the gift of preaching does not mean that I have a solid theological background. Having the gift of empathy does not mean that I could properly care for someone in spiritual need.

Seminary education is about more than just the classes, too. We live and learn in community. I have a nice pool of colleagues already, who I know I could call on in a time of need once I'm ordained. They each have their gifts and strengths, and I know that there are some who could help me with certain aspects of ministry that I am not as well-prepared to tackle. Our final this semester in Confessions is actually structured in such a way that our professor told us to prepare in groups, learning from one another and helping each other through the process.

Then there is field education, CPE (summer chaplain work in a hospital or prison), and internship. These things feed off of our education, yet also teach us where we need more work. For example, I already know that I have an issue with hospitals. I hope to get over my fear of hospitals this summer, but there is more to pastoral care of the sick than just being able to go into a hospital or nursing home. That's what my classes can help with--the concrete answers to situations. There might not be one right answer, but at least I'll have something to work with, books to consult, professors and other students to talk to.

Seminary is important. I can't describe everything I've learned this year, and how much more prepared I feel to be a pastor. I also know more about myself, and how far I have to go. There is much to learn, and many congregations would be sorely lacking without seminary trained pastors.

Wes: So. Seminary. That thing that at times seems like the bane of my existence as my professors and the administration try to suck the life out of me and at other times seems like a wonderful opportunity to grow in knowledge and faith of God.

Seminary.

Does it matter? Absolutely. Is it utterly important for any person seeking vocational ministry to be able to competently engage their calling and make a difference in the world? Absolutely not.

Seminary is meant to be a professional school--that which equips students with the tools of the trade so that they can be competent and effective ministers in their different context. This is not the only way to receive this training, nor--in some peoples' minds--is it the best. I know plenty of extremely effective and engaging ministers who have never set foot on a seminary campus. They are full of love of God and love of creation and have unique gifts in delivering the Gospel to the world. Most of them spent the majority of their lives working in a different career and were then able to take the things they learned in life and apply them to the preaching and pastoring of a church or congregation. They do an amazing job, and some have made a long-lasting impact in the world for the Kingdom.

But for the majority of pastors-to-be, especially if you are pursuing vocational ministry as their first (and hopefully only) career, seminary is not only an amazing gift for the ministry candidate, it is required by his/her denominational polity and candidacy committee. This is absolutely true for Jess and I. We have been charged by our denominations to actively engage our studies in the hope that we will be able to glean the knowledge and wisdom to better shepherd the Lord's sheep wherever we are sent. This is not meant to be a punishment of any kind, nor is it simply formality that we must endure before we are allowed to do the real work of ministry. This is a time of preparation, a time of discernment, and a time of growth.

For me, my seminary career has been a bittersweet experience. Princeton is a highly academic campus (no kidding, right?) as I spoke on in a previous blog post, and I honestly do not think that I am academic enough for the majority of the classes. This has led to me struggling through much of the work as I try to grasp the practicalities of what I'm learning. But, all that being said, I firmly believe that I have learned a lot--both about theology (in its different forms) and about myself. This has been a wonderful time altogether, and--whereas I do not necessarily feel completely ready for full-time ministry with all of its pitfalls, twists, and turns--I do feel like I am much more prepared for pastoral ministry than when I graduated from TLU.

So does seminary matter? For me and for Jess? Yes. For any and every person? Maybe not as much. But it has been a blessing for us, and will continue to be so (God-willing).

So that's all for now! You stay classy, World Wide Web!

Love,

Jess and Wes