Orange Cats and Burning Bushes

Jess: Well, life has been going pretty well for both of us since the last post. The summer has been progressing well. I started and finished reading the book for my August class, Wes finished his internship, and we watched the entire first season of How I Met Your Mother, which was great. Katherine, Wes' little sister, came to visit us on Sunday, and she's here through next Tuesday, so we're super excited about taking her to NYC, the beach, and whatever else we decide to do. The only setback to the week has been that I have to attend school full-time this next year. I'll be driving out to Philly at least two days a week for 10 weeks. Not the end of the world, but not exactly what I wanted to do while continuing to work. I'm excited about my classes, though!   

In other news, we're getting a cat! We have been discussing getting a pet for a little while. I've never had anything but fish because my parents are lame. Just kidding, Mom and Dad. But seriously, I only had fish. Then, my brother had a lizard once, but that thing died pretty quick and made us all sad. I think my parents killed it out of spite. Again, just kidding...sort of. :-P Wes has had a variety of pets, so we had a long discussion as to what to get. Fish are okay, but they get kind of boring. Lizards and snakes are okay, but neither one of us was really ready to get an animal that eats mice and crickets. I think both of us really, really want a dog, but we don't have a fence, it snows freaking half the year here, and we just weren't ready to make all the life changes involved in having a dog. So, we landed on cat. Cats are cuddly enough without being too needy. In other words, perfect.     

So today, we went to the store to pick out a cat with Katherine today. Our plan was to let her help us pick out a cat, then buy it when we return from Texas in a couple of weeks. But someone (ahem, me) fell in love with the cat we picked out and decided we couldn't wait. So, instead, we ended up buying a litter box, toys, food/water bowls, a collar, and a bed for the cat. Then we called/applied, and we'll be getting our cat, who we're going to name Tigger, in the next few days. He's 3 months old, already litter box trained, and very active--he already knows how to climb over gates. So, there we go...we've taken the next step in our relationship. Everyone knows that first comes marriage, then comes pet, then comes babies. But don't be expecting that last one anytime soon. We still have all that stupid school stuff to work out. 

Wes: So here is my philosophy on pets: if you can't pet it, it's not a pet. Thus, fish, lizards, most birds, insects and spiders, and most snakes do not count as pets. 

That's not at all what I want to talk about, though. I want to share with you this cool thing that my churches are doing. We are going through this book right now called The Story, that goes through the entire biblical narrative in 31 chapters. We're doing a chapter a week, so it's a 31-week sermon series. So far, we've covered from creation through Exodus. We've learned something very important about the Bible that has most of the people in my congregations struggling: God is not always easy to understand. Sometimes, God does things that seem to us as very un-God-like, and we have to wrestle with the meanings and implications of it. 

We struggled a lot with the plagues in Egypt, especially when people and animals died. We struggled with God telling Moses that God would strike down any Israelite who would not heed God's warnings. We struggled with Moses having to seemingly convince God not to wipe out the entire nation of Israel for making a golden calf to worship as God. 

And we don't have a nice, easily explained answer as to why God says the things God says and acts the way God acts. It is something that we as a church, that we as individual people of faith, have to work through and struggle through. Sadly, a lot of the time our churches try to push these stories under the rug and they refuse to talk about them because they are not easy to deal with. This should never be the case. We should not bow away from something just because it's difficult to talk about. This kind of mentality has not led us anywhere good, and it weakens the stance of the church. 

So I have three questions that I would leave you with, and I would love to hear your answers:

   1. Has your church/pastor tried to tackle the question of why God acts the way God acts in the Old Testament?

   2. How do you deal with this struggle?

   3. What is your favorite kind of pet?

That's all for today! You stay classy, World Wide Web!

-Jess and Wes

Candidacy, Seminary, Ordination Oh My!

Jess: Wes and I have been lame on doing our blog, and we couldn't really think about what to write. Our lives are pretty similar to the beginning of the summer. One of our wonderful friends suggested we write about, "Truth and meaning in vocations outside/beyond the church...or just how the process sucks...just some random ideas..." So here goes.

I believe that any vocation has meaning both in and out of the church. Paul says in Corinthians, "To one there is given through the Spirit the message of wisdom, to another the message of knowledge by means of the same Spirit, to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healing by that one Spirit, to another miraculous powers, to another prophecy, to another distinguishing between spirits, to another speaking in different kinds of tongues, and to still another the interpretation of tongues. All these are the work of one and the same Spirit, and he gives them to each one, just as he determines."

There are some who are called to do God's work in the church, and there are others who are called to do God's work outside of the church. Wes and I have both discerned our call to to God's work in the church as ordained ministers. Some of our friends have discerned their call to be teachers, musicians, parents, and police officers (you know who you are). Each one is going to live out the call God has placed upon their heart, regardless of where they work.

That said, the process Protestant denominations (or demoninations, like I almost wrote) put their candidates through is long and sometimes painful. At points during my candidacy, I have felt attacked, as if my candidacy committee is my enemy. Instead of feeling uplifted through emails and meetings, I sometimes feel like I have to fight for the right to follow God's call on my life. The same is true of the process itself. The candidacy process started when single or married men whose wives didn't work were the vast majority, if not all, of candidates for ministry. They were free to move cross-country at a moment's notice, then move back again the next year. For those candidates who are married, women, older, parents, etc. the process is difficult and seemingly impossible.

Despite all these difficulties, God has placed a very strong call on our lives. When times get difficult, we are reminded to pray, and then to listen. There is nothing about being Christian that promises that our lives with easy. Even following God's call means nothing in that area. Abraham followed God's call, and he almost had to sacrifice his own son. Joseph was thrown in a well, sold into slavery, and put in prison. Jesus died on a cross...but God was with each of these people. This seems like a small comfort at times, and that's why God has given us wonderful people to cheer us on along the way. They support us, love us, pray for us, and remind us that our lives have a God-given purpose. So thanks to everyone who does that for us!

Wes: So, I have this friend who started out at TLU as an education major. After a number of classes in theology and after getting heavily involved in campus ministry, she finally got tired of people asking her the same question over and over again: "Have you thought about being a theology major?" She changed her major and is now pursuing a vocational career as a youth minister. Another friend of mine started out as a science major, but after hearing that same question over and over again, he too changed his major to theology and is now trying to figure out if he is being called to go to seminary to become an ordained pastor.

Another friend of mine is a math major right now, and even though she is heavily involved in the ministries of both her church and college, she does not at all feel called to change majors or pursue a vocation in ministry. Yet another friend changed majors from theology to dramatic media while at TLU, deciding that though he thought his call was in full-time ministry, it was probably not the best fit for him at that time.

I grew up being told that there was no higher calling in life than to do the work of the Lord. Being a pastor was the best thing that I could be, because it was the holiest of all jobs.

Honestly, I think this is a pile of bull poo.

My dad was in the Air Force for most of my life. He made the decision to enter into service because he knew it would bring stability to our family and job security for the future. Since he enlisted, he has been on a number of temporary duty assignments all over the globe, has moved his family across an ocean twice, spent my entire Jr High and High School career commuting 2 hours from home to work so we could live in a safe community, and has completed 3 tours into hostile countries. There is no higher calling than to choose the wellfare of your family over the ease of civilian life.

My mom is a high school English teacher who over the past 8 years has supplemented her bare-bones teaching salary with up to three other jobs on the side just so that she could provide for her children the best way she could. We didn't have everything we could have ever wanted, but we also never missed out on opportunities, never went hungry, and always had a comfortable bed to sleep in. She puts up with the laziness, apathy, and sometimes outright hostility of her students because she loves imparting knowledge and she wants to see the young people of today flourish when they are adults. There is no higher calling than to care for not only your children, but the children of your community as well, doing everything you can to equip them for life.

I don't say this to make it seem like my parents are superdad and supermom. They are, but that's a different blog post. I say this to show that that anyone's vocation--that thing which God calls us to do full-time to earn our living and give back to the community around us--is the absolute highest calling one can have. Pursuing a career as a doctor, teacher, or salesperson is just as important and divinely inspired as me pursuing my career as a pastor. The trick is to make sure that whatever you are doing, you are doing it for the Lord. My math major friend that I talked about above wants to be the best mathematician she can be and be the best youth ministry volunteer she can be. That is what she feels God is calling her to be, and there is no higher calling for her, because that is God's calling for her.

Most of those who are called into ministry as a vocation must go through a process called candidacy. Each denomination has a different process, and each one is geared toward helping candidates for ministry discern whether or not God really is calling them to this vocation. It is much easier on a person to find out they are not truly called to be a pastor if they find out before they are working full-time in a church, and it is much easier on the church as well. This can lead to some frustration on the part of the candidate, because it can easily seem like the church is making us jump through hoops to make it to ordination.

I have been lucky in that I have not dealt with many of the struggles that Jess has faced, but I know of many in the United Methodist Church who have not had an easy time with it. There are a number of steps, and it can be a very complicated process. Like the cogs in a clock, if one person or party drops the ball on something or isn't lining up with everyone else, the entire process can ground to a halt. It can be very frustrating, and I know a few people who have actually felt that their call to ministry was attacked by their candidacy committee, which should never be the case.

I think that we as a church need to seriously evaluate our candidacy process and refine it as much as possible. Yes, we should have something in place that helps people truly discern a call to ministry to make sure that ordained ministry is right for them, but it should never come at the cost of the work of the Kingdom. I also think that candidates need to be able to recognize that sometimes, the collective wisdom of other pastors is worth listening to, especially in a case like this where the final outcome impacts not only the person, but whole congregations of people.

So, yeah. Vocation. Candidacy. Awesome.

We'd love to hear your thoughts on these things! What is your calling in life, and how can you do it in such a way to bless God? How would you handle the candidacy process if you were in charge?

Good night (or good morning or good day, depending on when you read this), and God bless! You stay classy, World Wide Web!

-Jess and Wes

Babies...it's criminal

Jess: Wes and I have been terribly bad at keeping up with our blog recently. I would like to offer my sincerest apologies to all of our loyal fans, and I hope that you can still trust us to provide you with regular entertainment. In the way of excuses, we don't have a lot, except that Wes was super, super sick two weekends ago--as in, emergency room sick. By the time he was over that, we were almost to the Fourth of July weekend, and were too busy for blogs. But now we're back and ready to talk.


As most of you know, I worked at Starbucks just one short year ago. About this time last year, I had started looking around for new jobs. I was getting to the point where I was going to get all postal worker on that job. So my first choice was to look around at some other retail jobs, where I could hopefully move to a position that I deserved, rather than being stuck at the same level for eternity. Then I quickly learned that I had no desire to continue working in retail, and that the problem extended far beyond Sbux Hopewell.


Then I thought about what I had always loved...babysitting. I babysat all through middle school, high school, and college. I had even taken a babysitting job to supplement my work at Starbucks. And so the search began. Within a month, I had a new job, some free time, a schedule I loved, and what felt like a new outlook on life.


Sometimes I've worried that I just get bored with certain things and then start giving up on them: a class I don't like, a movie with a bad plot, or a job. Yet almost a year later, I am just as happy--if not more so--than I was when I quit Starbucks and started working for the Vesseys. I'm always amazed at the gifts God gives to people, and I rarely see them in myself. It took me about 5 years longer than it should have to discern my call to ministry, but my desire to spend time with children has never given me a second's difficulty.


At Mom's wedding, I met Chris' 2-year-old granddaughter, Alina. Even though she was slightly nervous about the big crowd to which she was introduced, she immediately took to me. We wandered around the restaurant, talked, and traded shoes (yeah, that was interesting). When she was semi sick and crying during the wedding photos, all I had to do was say her name and smile, and she laughed through the rest of the picture taking. As someone who can regularly spot others' gifts, but rarely see my own, I know one thing is true: God has given me the gift of loving children and having them return that love with almost no effort on my part. While this has come in handy through babysitting, and no doubt will be a great asset to me in motherhood, I have yet to discover what this gift will do for me in ministry, and I can't wait to find out. 


P.S. Look at this baby!

Wes: Babies are weird. That’s why Jess has to take care of our kids until they get into Jr. High. Then I take over.

On a more serious note, I thought I’d update all of you on my summer internship at the Albert C Wagner Youth Correctional Facility (heretofore designated as Wagner). I’ve been working since the middle of May as a Chaplain Intern at the youth correctional facility and have had some great revelations about my faith, my ministry, and the world I live in. Here are a few of them:

1. I have been horrible at stereotyping all inmates as being hardened criminals who would rather rip out my heart than greet me as I walk past them.

Going into Wagner, I was extremely nervous that I might never come out. I thought about movies like The Rock or The Longest Yard or the Shawshank Redemption that show prison as an every-man-for-himself kind of environment, where gangs determine whether someone lives or dies or worst. I thought about people getting prison tattoos and making shivs and shanks out of plastic forks or toothbrushes.

I was stupid.

Every inmate that I’ve met so far has been nicer to me than any random New Jerseyan that I might pass on the sidewalk. They make eye contact with you, smile at you, and actually take time to ask you how you are doing. Yeah, some of them are in there for some scary things, but most of them would rather put it all behind them and make a fresh start. They are smart, funny, and genuine, and even though it seems that society (including, even, the institutions that house them) would make them out to be monsters, they are decent human beings whom I have been blessed to meet.

2. I have a long ways to go before I will be able to get a grip on ministry.

I went into Wagner with the mindset that I would be bringing the light of Christ into one of the darker parts of my world. I thought that I would be teaching the inmates basic stories of the Bible and trying to relate them to their circumstances even though I knew nothing about them. What I encountered was a group of guys that know their Scripture better than any of my parishioners. They were quoting passages to me by heart that I was not immediately familiar with, making theological connections that my fellow seminarians had argued over this past semester. They were regularly practicing spiritual disciplines and engaged in worship so genuine that I could not help but be drawn in. In our small group time, they were asking me pointed questions, not just for their personal growth but for mine as well.

They were ministering to me.

And I had the audacity to think that I was the one bringing them the Gospel.

3. Sometimes the only way to fight injustice is to suffer through it with the people it is focused upon.

In the time that I have been working at Wagner, I have witnessed more injustice than any other place or time of my life. From the general atmosphere of the facility to the fear of the custody staff to the way that the inmates are treated daily, it is evident that the Albert C Wagner Youth Correctional Facility is a breeding ground for injustice.

In the last week, I have witnessed two specific events that left me feeling cold and numb. The first was during a one-on-one counseling time in the chaplaincy office, which is located directly off of the stairs and directly under the detention tier. As I was talking to a brother about his time in the prison, there was a message over the loudspeaker that the prison was in lock-down. My friend informed that this was common, and most likely meant a fight either between a guard and an inmate or between two inmates. Soon, he said, we’ll see them taking the inmates involved upstairs to lockout. A few minutes later, I watched, dumbstruck, as six officers carried an inmate up the stairs while another beat him repeatedly with a baton. My companion shook his head and told me that this happens all of the time…

The second event happened just Tuesday, when an inmate was falsely accused of doing something that warranted not only time in detention, but up to 360 days in solitary confinement. The guard who accused him of this not only had no evidence to back up her statement, but her timeline did not match up with anyone else’s, and no one believes it to be true. But since a report was filed, this inmate is in detention, awaiting a sentence, and will probably go to solitary for something he didn’t do and no one believes he did.

Apparently, this kind of stuff happens all of the time in Wagner and in other places like it. It’s ridiculous, and it hurts my heart.

Jesus said that we should visit our brothers and sisters in prison. My supervisor told me that sometimes that visit, even if you don’t know who you are visiting, can mean the difference between life and death for some inmates. They feel lost. They feel abandoned. They just need to know someone cares for them enough to walk into Wagner for them.

This ministry has been rough on me. It’s been something that has weighed me down. But it has also changed something inside me and opened my eyes to something I had not seen before. I will continue to volunteer at Wagner even after I am done with my internship. I will continue to visit the prisons wherever I am doing ministry. And I will continually urge the people in my church and community to visit the people in prison.

Hopefully, God will use us to change lives. Hopefully, God will use us to right wrongs and bring justice where there is only injustice.

Well, that’s all for today! We’ll be back on soon with another post. God bless!

You stay classy, World Wide Web!

-Jess and Wes

Jess: As promised, here is the wedding homily.

And here is my lovely matron of honor speech:

I’ve known Karin for literally my entire life.  From the start, Mom and I had a special connection. We've had our ups and downs

My relationship with Chris began many years later. Now, when my mom was younger, my Uncle Neil kindly met one of her dates at the door…cracking his bullwhip. Considering that Uncle Neil is six feet tall and pretty intimidating, it is amazing Mom ever introduced him to a boyfriend again. The fact that Chris was more nervous about meeting Josiah and me than my uncle is a testament not only to how much my mom loves her children, but to how much Chris cared about her and her family even early in their relationship.

I have truly enjoyed watching the relationship between Mom and Chris unfold. Their love for one another shines through in all that they do. I know that this relationship is a strong one, built on trust, love, and a clear devotion to making each other happy. From the notes Chris leaves around the house to Mom’s ridiculous excitement as this day approached, it is clear to all of us that they are truly meant to be together. They have committed not only to each other, but to joining together as a family. Even though we just met this weekend, I felt like I already knew Chris’ children through all the stories Mom had shared about them and their lives; I’m sure that feeling is mutual. Mom and Chris know that this relationship is about more than just them, and that will only make it stronger.

Mom and Chris were there to celebrate when Wes and I got married, and I am so grateful to be able to share in their wedding today. So, to thank you for all you have done for us, we compiled a list of some marriage advice based on our 18 long months of marriage:

-    Always keep an extra blanket on the bed for when one of you inevitably steals the other.
-    Don’t be afraid of what other people think of you. Some of the best, funniest times Wes and I have had were when we acted like complete idiots in front of complete strangers.
-    It’s all right to spend time together doing nothing, or doing different things in the same room. You don’t have to talk to be connected.
-    Always take time to eat at the table instead of in front of the TV—at least once a month or so.
-    Don’t forget to go on dates. Just because you’re married and live together doesn’t mean you should always stay at home.
-    Surprise each other. Just the other day, Wes bought me flowers just because he hadn’t in awhile. It made me smile and made my day.
-    Remember that marriage is a partnership, and should be treated as such.
-    And remember, just like with Wii Bowling, it’s not about who comes in first, but about the fun you have playing.

I can’t wait to see what the years bring for you two, and I wish you all the best on your wedding day and in your married life together.

To Chris and Karin

Going to the Chapel!

Jess: This past weekend was my mom’s wedding, so most of our week has been consumed with the planning and festivities. I headed out to Ohio on Tuesday night, where my mom and her best friend forever, Linda, picked me up from the airport. I quickly filled Mom in on all the stuff that had happened that day (I had a summer job interview, we’re in an interesting financial situation for school in the fall, etc., etc.). By the time we got to the house to see my Aunt Colleen, it was well after 11, and we all started heading to bed. Then, as is typical when we get together after some time apart, Mom and I spent forever talking and didn’t get to bed till waaaaay later.

Wednesday, we went exploring the national park area around Ohio. Despite my general hatred for all things Ohian, I have to admit that the national parks are really awesome. Also, Ohio is the birthplace of more presidents than any other state. And there ends the list of good things about Ohio—unless you count temporary things, like certain people who live there.

Anyway, Wednesday was just a fun, relaxing day for us four girls; we had a picnic, we walked around, we talked, and I found out that my mom’s friend is much cooler than my mom is. :-D Then we had to go pick up Chris, Mom’s fiancée, from the airport. Now, the Cleveland airport is all of 30 minutes from the house, but Mom insisted that we leave an hour early because of rush hour traffic. She’s clearly crazy, but at least we got to spend some time listening to good country music and talking some more. Then we got Chris and headed back to Hudson for dinner at Yours Truly, which just so happens to be one of my favorite restaurants. We had some awesome food, and once we were almost done, Chris’ son Storm, daughter-in-law Gabrielle and granddaughter Alaina came to spend time with me. So we let them eat while we got acquainted. Two-year-old Alaina and I were fast friends, and she spent the rest of the weekend asking for “Jess-E-ca.” Kids love me. What can I say?

Thursday was the bachelorette party day. Being the awesome daughter/matron of honor that I am, I booked a spa day for the four ladies. We all had pedicures and massages, and AC and Mom had manicures—Mom’s first mani and pedi. It was awesomely relaxing and we had—you guessed it—more girl time. Then we had dinner at the Winking Lizard, another pretty awesome Ohio restaurant, and had a good time with a bunch of Mom’s friends from church, work, etc. Wes finally decided to show up that night, and Mom’s house started to get pretty crowded. For those of you who are counting at home, we’re now up to four people in Mom’s two bedroom townhouse.

Friday was a pretty chill day, with us meeting the rest of Chris’ kids, Courtney, Ryland, and Ryland’s husband Marc. We basically spent the day hanging out, and then came the rehearsal. Since I can now see that this blog is getting pretty long, I’m going to let Wes take over. We’ll make sure to post the wedding sermon/matron of honor toast in an upcoming blog.

Wes: By finally decided to show up, she means that I drove the 7 ½ hours from our house to Hudson by myself while she was out partying it up and getting massages. Jerk.

I occupied my time on the road by listening to a wonderful book on tape (and for anyone born in the new millennium, that’s an anachronism for audiobook). It was The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins. Very engaging, and it kept my attention the entire drive. Here’s the problem, though. The book was 10 hours long. The trip was 7 ½. So when I got to Hudson, I had about 2 ½ hours left. Luckily, the house was empty, so I did a little dance, jumped into the lazy boy, and went to town on those last few chapters. Great book. In fact, I’ll go ahead and say it. Highlight of the weekend. There.

Friday started my “work” part of the working vacation. I don’t really remember what we did up to the rehearsal, but that is where I took charge anyways, so let’s jump there. First, I put on my new bright yellow shirt, so everyone would know where to look. It was a good move. I commanded attention. It might have been that people were staring and pointing and laughing, but I had their attention. I was a little nervous about this, seeing as it was my first wedding to officiate, but everyone was great, everyone listened to me, and before I knew it, we were donesky and on our way to Marcelita’s for margaritas and fajitas. (Side note: I’ve come to notice that there are a lot of words on Mexican restaurant menus that end in “itas”…).  Hanging out with Jess and Josiah and everyone at the dinner was a lot fun, and teaming up to bother their mom was a great way to kill time.

Saturday’s festivities were over before I knew it. The wedding went off without a hitch. I had a lot of fun with the homily (which is posted on my blog) and a great time joking and laughing with Karin and Chris at the altar. One of my favorite parts of the service was when Chris answered a question by saying, “As I heard someone else say at his wedding, ‘Oh yes!’” It made me laugh and reminded me of when I said that and made everyone laugh. The reception was a lot of fun as well, and this DJ was easily the best of any wedding I’ve been to. He not only did a great job with the music, but he kept the bride and groom’s glasses full and even helped bus tables when there wasn’t anything else going on. I was very impressed. The only thing I didn’t like was he didn’t play “What is Love” after I requested it. No “Night at the Roxbury” for us…

Sunday was great. Jess did a wonderful time with the children’s sermon at her old church. I enjoyed the service up until the last song when they completely butchered “Mighty to Save.” Now, I realize that I am spoiled by having been a member at a church where Mark Swayze leads worship, but that does not give other people the right to speed through a song that is not meant to be played double-time. I really missed UUMC… The present opening party was fun until Kelly Smith had to go and say mean things to me. It was just not nice…

Our ride home was fun. We stopped at a roadhouse diner to eat and had really good steak and “4-gun chili.” Whatever that means. And now we’re home. And life goes back to normal. It was a great time, though, and I was blessed to be able to be a part of the ceremony and festivities.

Well, thanks for journeying with us from NJ to OH and back to NJ! Tune in next week for a discourse on Vatican II and dinosaurs!

You stay classy, World Wide Web!

Love,

Jess and Wes

You've Got a Friend in Me

Jess: As our good friends Josh, Sarah, Ben, Kate, and Kelly prepare to move away and leave us youngin's to fend for ourselves at the seminary, Wes and I decided it was time to talk about friends. We've really been thinking about how different our post-college relationships are from the ones that we made at TLU. 

After practically living with our friends at TLU over our four years there, moving up here seemed like moving into a void. Our friends were in Texas, and we had no idea how to make new friends up here. Even though we lived in the seminary housing, surrounded by other seminary students, we had a hard time joining the community. This was partially due to moving mid-year, me working 20 minutes away at odd hours of the day, and just general exhaustion from our whirlwind Christmas, wedding, honeymoon, cross-country trip month. 

As I worked at Starbucks, I started to make some friends. One of them, Jessica, happened to be a fellow seminary wife from California. Our mutual climate woes, seminary experiences, and Starbucks life made us fast friends, and we hung out from time to time outside of work. She and her husband moved to Iowa last June, though, and although we've kept in contact, that's not quite the same as having friends here. I had other friends from work, but anyone who is friends with their coworkers knows how difficult it is to have both a professional and a social relationship with people--I generally had to choose between the two. I still have some great friends from Sbux, but I've lost contact with most of them in the months since I quit. 

Meanwhile, we started regularly attending Prince of Peace, a Lutheran church in nearby Princeton Junction. Our seminary acquaintance, Josh, happened to be one of the interns there, and we started attending Theology on Tap, a Sunday night Bible study with a few people from the church. This is where some of our best NJ friendships have formed. We see these people almost every week, and when we're not having Bible studies, we have parties and get togethers at each other's houses, and just have a good time.

Not long after we started attending this study, we started to hang out with Josh and Sarah outside of school time. All of a sudden, we had friends who wanted to have us over for dinner, play awesome games and just hang out. We've had dinner together almost every month, even after we moved far, far away and now we have to drive to see each other instead of just yelling out of our living room window. Josh and Sarah have been great supporters of our ministry, jobs, school work, etc. They've definitely become an integral part of our lives up here in NJ, and I don't know what we're going to do without them.

All this rambling to say that Wes and I have had to completely rethink our method of making friends. No longer can we count on dinners in Hein, chapel services, class together, etc. to help us make awesome friends. We've had to go outside of our little bubble, invite people over, meet up for dinner or coffee, find common interests, and actually work on building our relationships. And on top of all of that, we have this whole marriage thing to contend with. We have very few single friends up here. Wes has single friends and I have single friends, but we as a couple have very few. It seems so much easier for us to make couple friends as a couple, and work on retaining our individual relationships from Texas. This last year and a half has taught us what it means to be independent adults building friendships. 

On a completely different note, I've started a new blog about a project I'm doing this summer. Here you go: http://jesusified.blogspot.com/




Wes: So I like reading blogs. We have a lot of good friends who have a lot of worthwhile things to say, and I like to stay up-to-date on it all. One of blogs that I read is by my pastor's wife, Kim Barnett. Although I've only gotten to hang out with Kim a couple times, I feel like I've gotten to know her well by journeying through life with her in her blog. She and Ryan just got back from a three-month mission excursion in Rwanda, and they were both great at sharing on a regular basis what was going on in their lives while over there. In her blog a few weeks' ago, she made the comment that every married couple should spend three months in a foreign country where neither speak the language because it helps you grow closer together as a couple and learn to depend on each other. 


I would add to her statement that moving to another state where you don't know anyone to attend a seminary where everyone is smarter than you can do that same thing. Jess and I were flung into a world that, though it seemed so similar on the surface to life at TLU, was completely different than anything we'd known before. There was no safety net for us to fall on. We were by ourselves. And coming in at the semester as we did, there weren't even other couples who were dealing with the same thing we were. Everyone had their group, and we struggled with fitting in to any of them. 


I didn't realize until we moved up here how much I depended on my friends and my community for love and support. I didn't realize how much I fed off of and relied upon the interactions with friends and family until those interactions were cut off. It was hard. 


Now don't get me wrong. The people at the seminary, at Starbucks, and at Crosswicks and Ellisdale have been wonderful! We've had a great time and met some amazing people. But the setting, the atmosphere, and the environment are so different than anything I've dealt with before. Most of the people at seminary, with the exception of a handful (and most of them are leaving today or within a month), are fellow students, classmates, and our relationships don't get much deeper than that. Since I'm a pastor now, I've also had to learn the definition of what a  church friend is. I can be close to my parishioners, but some lines cannot and should not be crossed with them. 


I guess what we're saying is that being an adult can kinda suck. We've lucked out in that we've made some connections up here with some amazing people, but friendship takes a lot more work than it does when you not only have class every week with someone but you also live in the same building, eat at the same places, etc... I understand why my parents cherished the time they could spend with their friends while I took it for granted.


So, for our friends in Texas, New Jersey, and everywhere else on God's green earth, we love you and we thank God for the blessing of having you in our lives. And for everyone in the Princeton/Bordentown area (or really anywhere in New Jersey. Let's face it. This state is tiny!), we have are currently accepting applications for friendship. Resumes must be sent with a cover letter and three non-relative references. 




You stay classy, World Wide Web!




Jess and Wes

Patios and Podiums

Jess: Those of you who avidly follow our Facebook accounts probably already know, but Wes and I--along with the fantastic help of some great friends--built a patio this weekend. You may recall from almost a year ago that our backyard was overgrown with not maintained flower gardens and weedy grass:


Well, since it got warm enough to do anything outside, Wes and I have been working to eradicate the terrible lawn problem. When the grass started growing again and we discovered that a large chunk of the lawn was dandelions and other assorted weeds, we sprayed the whole thing with weed killer. Then we did it a couple more times. Now the problem is that we have giant holes in our grass. Our wonderful friends Robert and Lindsey, sufferers of the same fate, described in detail how we can fix this problem over the course of the next year. Luckily for us, between the holly tree, the well and the relative lack of weeds, the front yard almost looks good now.

As for the backyard, we had another solution: cover most of it up, then worry about the last little bit in the fall. So we had our neighbor come over and dig us a nice 10 foot square hole, we ordered a half ton of sand and two tons of rocks, we loaded up 49 patio blocks in our new car (which apparently has amazing suspension), and we called up some friends. Six hours, four new patio blocks, and a lot of hard work later, we have this:
















So we spent Memorial Day weekend first building this backyard oasis, and then enjoying it. We had a nice little party on Memorial Day, where we played bocce ball and washers, grilled up some BBQ chicken, and hung out in our fun new backyard. Now it's time to tackle the ivy (which is hopefully not poisonous), the weeds that are attacking my flower beds, and the random plants that are threatening to eat our air conditioner. :-D

Wes: After working tirelessly all weekend on the yard, patio, and fire pit stuff (big shout out and major props to Josh, Sarah, Robert, and Lindsey for their help!), I spent this last week at the Annual Conference of the Greater New Jersey Conference of the United Methodist Church. From Wednesday morning through Saturday late afternoon, over 1200 delegates, comprised of both clergy and lay members of the churches in this area, met to talk about the future of the church and to handle the numerous business issues that were presented by different groups and individuals. This was a voting year, meaning that we had to vote on delegates that would represent our churches and conference at the jurisdictional and general conference levels. I’ve always been intrigued by the voting process, because it is build around the faith the that Holy Spirit will move through the votes of individuals to pick the people that God needs at the other conferences, not the individuals that we want at them. This means that politicking was not allowed. It was very interesting to see the process work and see how the votes would change not because of people making speeches and promises, but because of prayerful discernment about who should go.

I must admit to all of our faithful readers, though, that the politics of the church really get to me at times. When we in the church get to arguing and debating over issues, it makes me sad. So many times this Annual Conference (and the many others I’ve been to), I just wanted to stand up and ask if this was really what Jesus wanted the church to be spending its time doing?! The biggest issue of this conference was the fact that our venue—the King of Prussia Convention Center—is putting in a casino that will inhabit the room above our conference meeting area. The way people were talking about it, you would think that they were afraid that they were going to catch some contagious disease from the “sinners” coming there to gamble. They were talking about breaking contract with the venue, something that would cost the conference hundreds of thousands of dollars, and finding another place to meet within the conference. The funny thing about this, though, is that the only other place that really has enough space and is not too pricey is in Atlantic City, the Vegas of the East Coast! They were talking about picketing the casino entrance, handing out pamphlets to the gamblers, even setting up an in-house protest.

Is this what Christ would have done? Or would he have fellowshipped with the “sinners” that we seem so quick to condemn? How about finding a way to minister to and with the people there without making them feel like we are the holy giving handouts to the wretched?

On a very different note, our keynote speaker for the week was amazing. Mike Slaughter, pastor at Ginghamsburg Church in Dayton, Ohio, really brought it. He was unafraid to call our church leadership—even all the way up to the bishops—out and challenge them to take some time evaluating the way we do “church” to see if it really is effective and life-giving in the world today. I was really moved by his sermons, and I went a little twitter-crazy during them. The first night, I tweeted 74 quotes by him in the span of about an hour, which resulted in facebook disconnecting the twitter app from my profile because I had done too much in too little amount of time. Pretty funny.

The most moving thing that he said, and I could have sworn he was speaking straight to me, was when he said that we in the church—especially clergy—should never vote “no” to something that Jesus would have voted “yes” to. If there is a ministry possibility for you or your church to engage in, don’t let hesitancies, budget constrictions, or lack or resources keep you from doing it. Trust that Jesus will work through it no matter what, and don’t be afraid about the result, because if you are working to bring glory to the Kingdom and show love to God’s people, you can’t fail.

Overall, I’d say it was a great conference. We definitely are a broken people, and a broken people cannot be a perfect institution, but we are striving to do the work of Christ, and I am still proud to call myself a Christian and a member of the United Methodist Church.

Well, that’s all from us. Check in next time for a theological discourse on the economical Trinity.

You stay classy, World Wide Web!


Love,
Jess and Wes