Babies...it's criminal

Jess: Wes and I have been terribly bad at keeping up with our blog recently. I would like to offer my sincerest apologies to all of our loyal fans, and I hope that you can still trust us to provide you with regular entertainment. In the way of excuses, we don't have a lot, except that Wes was super, super sick two weekends ago--as in, emergency room sick. By the time he was over that, we were almost to the Fourth of July weekend, and were too busy for blogs. But now we're back and ready to talk.


As most of you know, I worked at Starbucks just one short year ago. About this time last year, I had started looking around for new jobs. I was getting to the point where I was going to get all postal worker on that job. So my first choice was to look around at some other retail jobs, where I could hopefully move to a position that I deserved, rather than being stuck at the same level for eternity. Then I quickly learned that I had no desire to continue working in retail, and that the problem extended far beyond Sbux Hopewell.


Then I thought about what I had always loved...babysitting. I babysat all through middle school, high school, and college. I had even taken a babysitting job to supplement my work at Starbucks. And so the search began. Within a month, I had a new job, some free time, a schedule I loved, and what felt like a new outlook on life.


Sometimes I've worried that I just get bored with certain things and then start giving up on them: a class I don't like, a movie with a bad plot, or a job. Yet almost a year later, I am just as happy--if not more so--than I was when I quit Starbucks and started working for the Vesseys. I'm always amazed at the gifts God gives to people, and I rarely see them in myself. It took me about 5 years longer than it should have to discern my call to ministry, but my desire to spend time with children has never given me a second's difficulty.


At Mom's wedding, I met Chris' 2-year-old granddaughter, Alina. Even though she was slightly nervous about the big crowd to which she was introduced, she immediately took to me. We wandered around the restaurant, talked, and traded shoes (yeah, that was interesting). When she was semi sick and crying during the wedding photos, all I had to do was say her name and smile, and she laughed through the rest of the picture taking. As someone who can regularly spot others' gifts, but rarely see my own, I know one thing is true: God has given me the gift of loving children and having them return that love with almost no effort on my part. While this has come in handy through babysitting, and no doubt will be a great asset to me in motherhood, I have yet to discover what this gift will do for me in ministry, and I can't wait to find out. 


P.S. Look at this baby!

Wes: Babies are weird. That’s why Jess has to take care of our kids until they get into Jr. High. Then I take over.

On a more serious note, I thought I’d update all of you on my summer internship at the Albert C Wagner Youth Correctional Facility (heretofore designated as Wagner). I’ve been working since the middle of May as a Chaplain Intern at the youth correctional facility and have had some great revelations about my faith, my ministry, and the world I live in. Here are a few of them:

1. I have been horrible at stereotyping all inmates as being hardened criminals who would rather rip out my heart than greet me as I walk past them.

Going into Wagner, I was extremely nervous that I might never come out. I thought about movies like The Rock or The Longest Yard or the Shawshank Redemption that show prison as an every-man-for-himself kind of environment, where gangs determine whether someone lives or dies or worst. I thought about people getting prison tattoos and making shivs and shanks out of plastic forks or toothbrushes.

I was stupid.

Every inmate that I’ve met so far has been nicer to me than any random New Jerseyan that I might pass on the sidewalk. They make eye contact with you, smile at you, and actually take time to ask you how you are doing. Yeah, some of them are in there for some scary things, but most of them would rather put it all behind them and make a fresh start. They are smart, funny, and genuine, and even though it seems that society (including, even, the institutions that house them) would make them out to be monsters, they are decent human beings whom I have been blessed to meet.

2. I have a long ways to go before I will be able to get a grip on ministry.

I went into Wagner with the mindset that I would be bringing the light of Christ into one of the darker parts of my world. I thought that I would be teaching the inmates basic stories of the Bible and trying to relate them to their circumstances even though I knew nothing about them. What I encountered was a group of guys that know their Scripture better than any of my parishioners. They were quoting passages to me by heart that I was not immediately familiar with, making theological connections that my fellow seminarians had argued over this past semester. They were regularly practicing spiritual disciplines and engaged in worship so genuine that I could not help but be drawn in. In our small group time, they were asking me pointed questions, not just for their personal growth but for mine as well.

They were ministering to me.

And I had the audacity to think that I was the one bringing them the Gospel.

3. Sometimes the only way to fight injustice is to suffer through it with the people it is focused upon.

In the time that I have been working at Wagner, I have witnessed more injustice than any other place or time of my life. From the general atmosphere of the facility to the fear of the custody staff to the way that the inmates are treated daily, it is evident that the Albert C Wagner Youth Correctional Facility is a breeding ground for injustice.

In the last week, I have witnessed two specific events that left me feeling cold and numb. The first was during a one-on-one counseling time in the chaplaincy office, which is located directly off of the stairs and directly under the detention tier. As I was talking to a brother about his time in the prison, there was a message over the loudspeaker that the prison was in lock-down. My friend informed that this was common, and most likely meant a fight either between a guard and an inmate or between two inmates. Soon, he said, we’ll see them taking the inmates involved upstairs to lockout. A few minutes later, I watched, dumbstruck, as six officers carried an inmate up the stairs while another beat him repeatedly with a baton. My companion shook his head and told me that this happens all of the time…

The second event happened just Tuesday, when an inmate was falsely accused of doing something that warranted not only time in detention, but up to 360 days in solitary confinement. The guard who accused him of this not only had no evidence to back up her statement, but her timeline did not match up with anyone else’s, and no one believes it to be true. But since a report was filed, this inmate is in detention, awaiting a sentence, and will probably go to solitary for something he didn’t do and no one believes he did.

Apparently, this kind of stuff happens all of the time in Wagner and in other places like it. It’s ridiculous, and it hurts my heart.

Jesus said that we should visit our brothers and sisters in prison. My supervisor told me that sometimes that visit, even if you don’t know who you are visiting, can mean the difference between life and death for some inmates. They feel lost. They feel abandoned. They just need to know someone cares for them enough to walk into Wagner for them.

This ministry has been rough on me. It’s been something that has weighed me down. But it has also changed something inside me and opened my eyes to something I had not seen before. I will continue to volunteer at Wagner even after I am done with my internship. I will continue to visit the prisons wherever I am doing ministry. And I will continually urge the people in my church and community to visit the people in prison.

Hopefully, God will use us to change lives. Hopefully, God will use us to right wrongs and bring justice where there is only injustice.

Well, that’s all for today! We’ll be back on soon with another post. God bless!

You stay classy, World Wide Web!

-Jess and Wes